No talent required: My life as a Cabaret Vs Cancer ambassador (& Halloween charity auction conjurer)
Updated: 2 days ago
Do you have to be a stage performer to volunteer with a cabaret and burlesque charity? Nope! Jason Ford shares what it's like to be a Cabaret Vs Cancer ambassador and charity auction organiser — no dancing necessary!
As the resident spooky person at Cabaret Vs Cancer and one of the few non-performers among its ambassadors, I had to find a way of raising money that didn’t require me to demonstrate any discernible talent...
I cannot sing. I absolutely cannot dance. And nobody has ever willingly asked to see me remove my clothes to music. What I can do, however, is cajole my friends into letting me raid their homes and persuade people to spend money on things they didn’t know they desperately needed until approximately thirty seconds earlier.
It turns out this is a surprisingly useful skill set.
Cabaret Vs Cancer raises vital funds for organisations supporting people affected by cancer, as well as those navigating grief and loss. Its fundraising ranges from live cabaret shows to charity auctions made possible by the efforts of an extraordinary community working both onstage and behind the scenes. Since launching in 2014, it has awarded more than £460,000 in grants to organisations making a crucial difference across the UK.
This is important, serious work.
Fortunately, nobody said we had to behave seriously while doing it.
That combination is one of the reasons I am proud to be an ambassador for Cabaret Vs Cancer. Cancer touches all of us, whether through a diagnosis of our own or that of someone we love. Its effects extend far beyond hospitals and treatment, changing everyday life for the person diagnosed and everyone who loves them.
Cabaret Vs Cancer awards grants to smaller organisations where the money can make a real difference. In doing so, it turns the glitz and glamour of the cabaret community into practical help when people need it most. Its official mission is to "kick cancer in the d**k", which is both hysterically direct and considerably more memorable than most charitable mission statements.
An online charity auction with a spooky twist
My own principal contribution to the cause has been the annual Halloween charity auction.
Halloween has always been the most important event in my social calendar. Some people sparkle in the summer sunshine; I come alive when the shops begin selling plastic skeletons and it becomes socially acceptable to fill your house with Jack-o-lanterns and severed limbs. Organising a Halloween auction therefore seemed a sensible way of combining my love of all things ghoulish with something genuinely worthwhile.
Charity auction goodies from horror heroes
Over the years, we have been fortunate enough to receive some remarkable donations. Among them were:
Items from the late Anthony Stewart Head, beloved star of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, whose portrayal of Giles taught an entire generation that research could save the world.
Merchandise from The Traitors signed and donated by the incomparable Alan Cumming.
Original artwork by Mark Gatiss.
Pieces from the personal collection of Hugh Ross, star of the cult classic Clive Barker film, Nightbreed.
And more!
It is an intimidatingly talented collection of people. My role is essentially to scream into the internet, “Wouldn’t this look nice in your home!?”
The answer, happily, is often yes.
How our Halloween charity auction works
The Halloween charity auction has grown into one of the highlights of my year. It begins with me shamelessly begging famous people to part with their worldly possessions and ends with me delivering the resulting collection to our tireless leader, Rose Thorne.
Fortunately for me, that is where Rose comes into her own. She does all the organising, photographing, cataloguing, packaging and occasional staring at an object while wondering how on earth she is supposed to post that. I create the logistical problem; Rose somehow turns it into a successful charity auction.
Then the bidding begins.
Watching people compete over a unique piece of artwork or a treasured bit of cult television history is enormous fun, but beneath that excitement is the knowledge that every bid is helping Cabaret Vs Cancer continue its vital work.
An autograph becomes part of a grant. Something strange and wonderful finds a new home, while the money it raises becomes tangible support for somebody going through an unimaginably difficult time.
Halloween, as it turns out, can be about giving people hope as well as frightening the bejesus out of them!
The Big Geek Quiz
My friends, The Lost Diaphragm and I have also inflicted — sorry, presented — several fandom-related quizzes at the world-famous Royal Vauxhall Tavern in support of Cabaret Vs Cancer.
The Big Geek Quiz gathers together people with dangerously specific knowledge and asks the questions that really matter...
Can you name, in order, the actors who played each numbered Doctor in Doctor Who?
What was Natasha Romanoff’s alias in Iron Man 2?
Exactly how many people in the room will object to the specific wording of a Harry Potter question?
The answer to that last one is more than you think, and they will find you afterwards!
Running these quizzes with my friends has been enormous fun, even when the chaos leaves us completely exhausted. The Royal Vauxhall Tavern is a place with a remarkable history of queer performance and community, so it was the perfect home for an event that brings people together, celebrates the things they love and raises money all at the same time. Our quiz teams may arrive determined to destroy one another over details no reasonable person should be expected to remember, but they are united by something far more important than knowing the name of Spock’s childhood pet.
Although, naturally, we still expect them to know that too.
Being part of the CVC volunteer family
For me, that means Halloween, cult television, horror, quizzes and persuading famous people to part with their valuables.
For somebody else, it might mean performing, volunteering, donating an auction lot, buying a ticket or simply telling more people about the charity. As the saying goes, every little helps!
Small charities depend upon communities choosing to show up for them. Cabaret vs Cancer has created a particularly glorious and irreverent community, determined to bring some light and laughter into an experience that can otherwise feel unbearably dark.
I may still be one of the few ambassadors without a stage act, but I have found my role. I lurk in the shadows, surrounded by memorabilia, planning quizzes and waiting for Halloween, hoping that, between us, we might make the world a little better than it was the day before.
Frankly, it’s what Giles would have wanted.
Comments